hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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