I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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