It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
