Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
