Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
two words: eviction party
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
