Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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