winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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