we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize