Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
