I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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