I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
