I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
