worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
