I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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