Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
