I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
