I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
