Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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