OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
