barbara walters just said penis...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
