No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
