At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
