thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
