I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
