How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize