having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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