so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
