just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
