I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
