You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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