Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
