I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
