hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
