Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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