In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
