conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
