Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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