Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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