it was like eating out sand paper
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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