I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize