After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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