I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
