Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
