Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
