can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
