I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
