I'm gonna have a badass scar
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
