she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
