Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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