dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
