Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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