I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I will be naked everywhere
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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