So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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