to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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