My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
