The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
