the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
