I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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