Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
