Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Randomize
