Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
