smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
