so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
