Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
