i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Four minutes until I can fart!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Couch. On fire.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
