I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
