it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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