I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Every concussion has its silver lining
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
