I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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