i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
