Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
